Isn't that a little cliché?

There is a man yelling, "STELLAAAAAA" outside my window.  I think he's calling a dog, but still.

Note to self

there is such a thing as too many kale chips in one sitting.  There may be consequences if you decide just to finish off the rest of the leaves without sharing.  Now if you'll excuse me...

Rebecca Black ruined Fridays

A bird took a giant crap on my windshield this morning, and that was definitely the highlight of my day.

Until I saw this:

I don't really get memes, but this one is awesome.  Pretty close to how all of my DIY projects turn out...

Peppermint Lip Balm + Mocha =

Peppermint Mocha!  

(No, I did not eat my chapstick.  Maybe I would sneak a taste back in the days of Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers, but that was the whole point of those glosses.  Lip Smacking.  And luring in middle-school boys with the oh-so-subtle scent of strawberry.  Actually, most boys were afraid of me at that time, and maybe some of them now - 98 pounds of intimidation right here!)

This was just such an important revelation that I had to share it with someone.  I'm not sure my coworkers would have been amused.  You let this girl negotiate contracts on behalf of the University?  

Incidentally, for me, Sugar + Caffeine = BAD IDEA.  Weeeee!

Pretty much the same thing

Mom: "Did you find anything online with the Black Market sales?"

Me: "...did you mean Black Friday?"

Mom: "You're going to post this on your blog, right?"

Mystery of the Day

How did a Canadian dime end up inside my shoe?

Whoever empties my garbage this week is going to see an awful lot of York Peppermint Pattie wrappers.  Maybe I should put them in the big garbage to protect my anonymity. 

Office Workout: Would You Dare?

Ok - make sure to play the videos and read the pro/cons for each exercise!

Tell me: would you dare to do any of these in your office?

Posh Dancing

A thanks to Already Pretty for sharing this gem.  I think this works for both those who loved AND those who hated Pride and Prejudice...(*parental advisory!*)

Today I would like to know...

...why my purse smells like feet.  I would blame it on the fact that it's used, but I've had it for a while now.  Friends tell friends when they smell, ok?

Which reminds me: I need to make more deodorant.

Erm...

I'm working on a project that the administrators insist on referring to as "Skin Slippage."  I'm worried that even typing that here might get me some unwanted hits - we'll test out blogger's privacy settings, eh?

Lunchtime Musings

Chinese food and coffee do NOT go well together.

you know your boyfriend is a cook if...

you get a text in the middle of the day that just says "KNIVES!" and you're not concerned.

(the Chef's knives he ordered just got here.  I can't wait to chop things.)

I hope I'm this cool at her age

Yesterday, at church, Albert accidentally bumped into an older woman in the foyer.  Her response?

"That's ok.  It's nice being bumped by somebody young for once."

I have a bitta Britta in me

Community has really been there for me in these last few difficult months.  And by Community I don't mean the people in my life, but rather, the TV show.  The quirky humor, outrageous stunts, and flawed characters resonate with me, and probably with all of our desire to be accepted just as we are and spend our days in epic paintball fights.  It adds a touch of whimsy to my current life, with just enough reality to keep the show fresh.  I didn't like it the first few times I watched, partly because the Britta character annoyed me.  But I quickly realized how many of my own characteristics were reflected (in an exaggerated way) through her storylines.

1. I am a bit of a buzzkill.  Blame it on older child syndrome, being perpetually overly responsible and able to identify all of the things that could go wrong in a given situation while others float in blissful acceptance of life's risks.  That's why I made a good lifeguard, and why I recently scolded the boys (cough cough men in their mid-twenties) at a party for throwing firecrackers at each others butts, when, just as I had feared, one really did send sparks into somebody's eye.  I try to turn the worrying off, I try to use statistics to convince myself that the chance of anything happening is slim, but invariably, my anxieties are proven right.  Sigh.

2. I'm kinda intense.  I always wondered why my stories were met with awkward silence.  Apparently, some of my life experiences and philosophies are sorta extreme.  My good friend Andrew finally pointed this out to me, and it's been very helpful.

3. I wish I was doing more to change the world.  I've traveled, I've interned, I've rallied, I've raised and donated money, but it doesn't feel like enough.  Especially not now as I sit in the comfort of my own apartment, albeit surrounded by used furniture, two rescue kitties, and unable to use my bathroom sink due to unexplained plumbing issues.  I do feel like I'm at my job for a reason, getting excellent training in a hard-to-come-by and much-needed skillset in the nonprofit and ministry realm.  I sometimes just wish that the next steps were more clear.

4. I expect too much from myself and other people, and am continually disappointed.  While Community has been there for me, community has not.  I think this may be related to No. 3, that people are often unsure of how to response to crises outside of their own experience.  I was raised to let someone know that you're thinking of them, even if all you have to say is that you don't know what to say.  And even as I feel a bit lonely and surprised at the lack of response from friends (with some very notable exceptions), I also feel guilty for not being updated on what's going on in their lives.  I guess we TwentySomethings are pretty caught up in our own continual crises of self and security.

6. I used to pronounce bagel wrong.  I have no idea why.  I still have to focus sometimes to make sure I don't ask for a "bahgul."  I also used to refer to bags as "begs."

My Needy Friend

Fibromyalgia has been a needy friend to me. Sometimes, I just have to give in to it (I haven’t decided yet whether or not it’s male or female, so it’s an androgynous entity for now). I gotta let it have its way, and get back in to bed and cuddle with it, place a heating pad on its aching joints and muscles, and devote all of my attention to it. No other friends or responsibilities may take precedent when Fibromyalgia is at its neediest. But most of the time, I just have to show it some tough love. Kick its butt outta the house even when it just wants to stay in and rest its weary bones. Remind it that others have it much worse, and that it’s not the only thing in my life – just one friend who’s seemed to latch on a little tighter than the rest.

Snarkolepsy

noun: pathology.

a chronic social disorder characterized by excessive desire to lash out through extreme sarcasm and cynicism. Possibly emerges at inappropriate times; those afflicted may not even realize they are having an episode. Has contributed greatly to the humor in pop culture that defines today's TwentySomething.


origin: well, I thought of it last night, but it turns out somebody else already coined the term. drat. this, however, is MY definition.

my name is JM, and I have ADD

I can't believe it took 22 years for me to figure out that I probably have ADD. But it really makes sense.

For example, since I turned on the computer, I have checked my email, been on facebook, back to email, returned to facebook, looked up ADHD on Wikipedia, which led to looking up other things on Wikipedia, while keeping track of what's happening in the movie I'm watching, making tea cause I realized I was thirsty, and remembering the list of things I need to do before Urbana. I've been online for 10 minutes.

Er. This should have been obvious a long time ago.

But maybe, this attention deficiency is what has allowed me to do well balancing a crazy schedule. I can't focus on one thing for long, so juggling too many activities was actually a better fit for me. Maybe it's why I'm able to see problems and solutions so holistically in my mind - I see everything as connected, the webs of interaction spreading far beyond the initial issue of interest. I can't look at one isolated thing. It's also why it takes me so long to write research papers...

Like I start with one idea, which leads to another question, which leads me to wikipedia, which - SOMETHING SHINY - and then, all hope is lost of finishing anyth