Isn't that a little cliché?

There is a man yelling, "STELLAAAAAA" outside my window.  I think he's calling a dog, but still.

Note to self

there is such a thing as too many kale chips in one sitting.  There may be consequences if you decide just to finish off the rest of the leaves without sharing.  Now if you'll excuse me...

Keeping Up With the Joneses

I never settled on something to give up for Lent.  I was raised Presbyterian, and we weren't very strict about this tradition; in fact, the suggestion I remember was to add something on to your routine, but I truthfully have not paid much attention to this very important season in the Christian calendar.  But my Facebook observations extensive research indicates that people today seem to use these 40 days to make or break healthier habits.  I spent some time trying to figure out what my weaknesses are, what I use to fill the voids in my life instead of turning to my relationship with God.  And I admit, I wasn't willing to sacrifice watching dumb TV shows.  


Tonight, after I got tired of watching said dumb TV, I got on Facebook for a few minutes.  I don't spend much time on this site; I tend to use it more to track birthdays, and spend maybe 10-15 minutes surfing a few times a week.  While a number of users deactivate their accounts for Lent, the reason most often cited is because they spend too much time there.  But my problem is that Facebook causes me to sin.


It makes me covet.


It makes me ask, why have all of these people out there managed to move their lives forward to exciting places, cool jobs, starting their own families, when I am stuck?  It makes me wonder what I am doing wrong, why despite all of my hard work nothing has changed.  It causes me to compare myself to others, to be jealous, to be pissed off.  So I'm taking a break to see if that helps me re-center myself, just as soon as I finish telling people "Happy Birthday!"

Incompetent and Unfriendly

Yes, these are the first two words I would use to describe myself.  Thank you so much, professor, for sending them in an email behind my back and trying to get me in trouble with my supervisor over a contract I have been hammering through for a year-and-a-half.  Never mind that this is your fault in the first place.  You are entitled to throw around false accusations because you are the brilliant scientist, and I am but a lowly pencil pusher.  And of course, we all know that you will never get in trouble for behaving unprofessionally, because senior management encourages you to take out your frustration on me and my colleagues at this institution.  Thank you so much for the cherry on top of the crap sundae that has been my week. 

Kind regards,

JM

I'm so tired...

...I had to sing the alphabet in my head to remember where Y stood.  It's after W, in case you were wondering. 

And yeah, I'm using the Monday label on this, because it FEELS like Monday, with the benefit that it's actually Tuesday, but the unfortunate consequence that everybody's been thinking about their contracts for three days and wants it done NOW.

Rebecca Black ruined Fridays

A bird took a giant crap on my windshield this morning, and that was definitely the highlight of my day.

Until I saw this:

I don't really get memes, but this one is awesome.  Pretty close to how all of my DIY projects turn out...

Instead

Dear Pinterest Users,


Clothing does not automatically look better on thin people.  


I know we're fed that lie in magazines, blogs, tv, movies, and pretty much everywhere else you look, but if you look at these images with a critical eye, you'll find that it's simply not true.  Different styles flatter figures with different proportions - curvy, boyish, petite, long torso, long legs, ample tush, slim butt, large boobs, small boobs, no boobs, boobs that are two different sizes, narrow hips, hips that are large and in charge, and the hundreds of other variations that make us uniquely beautiful.  This is why nobody, regardless of size or figure, has an easy time finding clothes that fit and look great - we used to make clothes to fit our body, not the other way around.


So please, please stop tagging photos or creating boards that are called, "When I'm thin, this is what I'll wear."  Pin fantasy outfits that you'll never wear because they're too expensive or ridiculous, not because you think clothes are reserved for girls who fall into one narrow definition of beauty.  Please start treating your body with some respect.  How about:


Instead of counting calories, count the number of fruits and vegetables you ate today.  


Instead of calling yourself fat, get yourself some omega-3 fatty acids.  They're so good for you.


Instead of criticizing the girl in the mirror, take your fine self on a walk and soak up that natural beauty.  


Instead of looking at the size on your clothes, turn the tag over and check out where they were made.  Think about the life of the woman who stitched those pieces together.  


Instead of learning how to pose for photos so you look thinnest, throw your arm around a friend: it's the best way to avoid unintentional arm widening (it happens to all of us).  


Instead of donning black because it's "slimming," wear colors that brighten your complexion and make you feel fabulous.  


Instead of hating on or envying the skinny girls, remember that they are just as unhappy with themselves as you are - and maybe more.  


Instead of obsessing over what life would be like if you looked different, remember that most people don't care nearly as much about what you look like as you do.  (This took me way too long to figure out.  I will never be tan, large-chested, wavy-haired, or any other number of things, and nobody else cares about these facts.  Maybe I shouldn't either.)


Be nice to yourself, because I bet you're pretty awesome when  you're not posting annoying captions on Pinterest.


Much love,
JM